


We Didnt Start the Fire

by freakofnature



Series: Haikyuu!! Drabble Fics [7]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 80's AU, M/M, every fandom needs an
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-24
Updated: 2014-06-26
Packaged: 2018-02-06 00:17:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1837426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freakofnature/pseuds/freakofnature
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>80's Haikyuu Au in which the hq boys are dorks and get into shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> general note for this au: #drabble fic #lots of drabbles in no order for 80s au #smut? #fluff #its the 80s #there is weed and drinking #and talking on lANDLINES #set in an asian community in america #b/c i s2g those are a thing so w/e im roling with it #USAGE OF FIRST NAMES LIKE WHAT? #weird #1985 #trigger warning for slurs #mainly the really bad f word that is used for gays #a lot likely #fUCKING GAY AS HELL OKAY YEAH
> 
> that is all. also written as i always write; at midnight when i dont really understand what words are. as always, tell me if you see glaring errors--or errors in general. also, find me at kozumekuroo b/c im a huge trash nerd and am always on there.

**#hair dying #kuroo what the fuck #in which Kenma tries not to punch his best friend for bleaching his hair**

“Kenma.” No answer. “Kenma, I swear to god, get your pasty ass out here!” Kuroo banged on the door some more, grinning widely when gold eyes peered through the crack in the door. Holding up his hands, Kuroo showed his friend the hair dye and bleach he had brought over, “Come on and let me know, should I stay or should I go? Home I mean.”

With a scowl, Kenma opened the door more and tugged the taller male inside, “You shouldn’t use song lyrics, Kuroo. It’s dumb. You’re dumb.” Kuroo just laughed and ruffled raven locks as the two of them headed up the stairs of Kenma’s house to the bathroom, “Ma isn’t home…and Dad’s at work. I would prefer you to work as quickly as possible though. I have video games to play.”

 

Pushing Kenma onto the seat of the toilet with a good natured sneer, Kuroo began to mix the bleach together, snapping the gloves onto his hands with a smirk. Kenma just stared blandly at him, so he dropped the dorky act and rolled his eyes, “You got the NES and the new Atari, didn’t you?” at the raven’s nod, Kuroo whistled and made a motion for the boy to turn around, scooping some of the bleach into the brush he bought (with his mother’s money he yanked from atop the dryer) and brushing it through Kenma’s hair, “What kind of games you got for it?”

 

Kenma was the type of boy who didn’t like to talk very much. But when Kuroo knew him as long as he did—since like birth their parents were good friends—he picked up on things that the boy enjoyed. Reading and video games were two of them. His friends were another point of interest for the raven—though Kenma rarely had a facial expression other than ‘bored’ or ‘disinterested’. So as his childhood friend rambled on and on about the video games he had for two of the biggest and coolest systems in America (if not the world), Kuroo listened with interest and applied all the bleach evenly throughout the chin length black hair. Once the formula had all be worked into Kenma’s hair, Kuroo piled it on top of his head and took off his gloves.

 

“Kay, kid. Gotta wait for 45 minutes.” He saw Kenma’s shoulder sag, and patted him a little roughly, “Show me those games okay? I’ll keep track of the time.”

 

“Kuroo.”

 

“Uhh…yeah?” good thing he never bleached _his_ hair.

 

“Kuroo my hair is a shade lighter than _orange_.” Kenma turned his golden eyes on his best friend and Kuroo swore there was murder in those eyes. “What the hell should I tell my mother when go down for dinner and look like an orange? Hm? Tell her I accidently fell in some bleach?” Kenma narrowed his eyes and balled his fists. When gold eyes flicked away from his, Kuroo sighed a bit in relief.

 

“I’m not dumb, Kenma. I got you platinum hair dye.” Scratching the back of his neck, he at least had the decency to look sheepish, “I knew it was gonna be orange, but the lady had said hair had a mind of its own and something about it could be dark red or like…your hair. It should dye the honey blond you want though, so shut up.” Kenma still looked mad, and a little bit like he wanted to cry (Kuroo hated it when Kenma cried it was like watching a puppy get run over and dying in your arms). “If it doesn’t work, then we can just dye it back to black. No biggie.”

 

“…Okay.”

* * *

  **#kuroo is the type of asshole who sees something and then wants to try it out #usually on kenma #the first of many things kuroo gets him to do**

 

“Kuroo I don’t want to.” Kenma stared at his friend, his friend with a _very large needle_ and flinched back. “Kuroo you said it hurt, I don’t want it to hurt.”

 

“Kenma. You drink like two times as much as I do and don’t get drunk, you have done so much weed it’s a miracle your parents don’t fuckin’ smell it on you from their _house_ , and who knows what other drugs you have done.” Kenma paled farther, feeling the cool potato Kuroo had sliced earlier, “And you are telling me you cannot have a needle stab through your ear?”

 

“Yes.” Kenma opened his mouth to add more, but Kuroo thought that _that moment_ was good enough to stab the metal through Kenma’s ear, resulting in the blond screaming at the top of his lungs.

 

“See now did that hurt?” Kuroo appeared in front of him with a grin, the needle nowhere in sight.

 

“ _Yes_.” his ear was throbbing. It was likely bleeding profusely and going to fall off because Kuroo was a dumb asshole.

 

“Dirty liar. At least you only have two more left to go!” another needle was suddenly in Kuroo’s hands and all Kenma wanted to do was bolt out of the room. Sadly he was a gamer and not athletic like the other and knew moving would only result in more pain.

 

“I hate you.”

 

“Wicked.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> seven minutes in heaven. stuff happens and tsukki is actually a brat who may or may not be in love with tadashi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as usual find me at kozumekuroo and send me headcanons. either of this au, or of any ship you can think of (crack or not b/c wow i really like my crack ship okay?)

**#honestly tho just think about all the shit they would do in 7 mins #long drabble? idfk #be warned #crack ships**

 

“Truth or dare?” Shouyo laughed as groans filled the room, only shrugging when Tadashi muttered something about Sho being unoriginal.

 

“Never have I ever?” Daichi suggested next, but everyone shook their heads, “Thought so, not drunk enough yet.” There was laughter this time around.

 

“Seven minutes in heaven?” Kenma threw it out there, expecting howls—from Noya and Ryuu of course—but instead everyone kind of laughed and groaned and formed a little circle, “I was kidding.”

 

It was Tsukki who slapped him on the back as he sat down, “Tough luck, hoser,” Kenma just swatted at him and when the glasses prick just laughed, he shifted his leg and kicked him in the thigh, grinning that the yelp of pain he heard.

 

“Queer.” He tossed back, sneering until Kuroo pushed his head down and said something about children being idiots.

 

After a brief scuffle of what the fuck did they use to pick the victims that went into the closet(there was a coat closet near the staircase downstairs which was perfect) they decided to use one of the unopened beer bottles—“But its rigged!” Asahi would complain only to cough when Noya slapped him on the back, “Which only makes it more fun!”. Then came the silence of who the hell went _first_. With a long suffering sigh, it was Daichi who stood up and spun the bottle.

 

And around it went. Once. Twice. _Oh god no_. Kenma stared at Daichi’s calm brown eyes and stood up slowly, stumbling when Kuroo kicked the back of his knee. _Sorry_ Daichi mouthed, but Kenma just shook his head and shrugged. There wasn’t anything they could do now, was there?

 

“We wanna hear stuff from over here!” Noya was shoved by Ryuu, who proclaimed that was gay (they were all boys this was very fucking gay) “Nevermind! We wanna see evidence you did something then!” when he was shoved again, Noya just cackled.

_ _ _

“Did you expect us to make out or something in here?” Kenma nestled himself between Daichi’s legs and rolled his eyes to the ceiling, “or did you just want to wait it out and like suck a hickey on each other’s necks?”

 

Daichi laughed softly and beckoned Kenma to come a little closer. Kenma wasn’t shy—much—but he did not like being close to people. It made him nervous. He stuttered and drew out his sentences and it was just an all-around mess he did not like to deal with. But Daichi kissed him quickly on the lips, silencing anything he had wanted to say. “Calm down, nerd. It’s just a game. And only seven minutes, just kiss me or something queer like that.” When Kenma didn’t move, the taller male closed the space between them again and softly kissed him.

 

It didn’t take long for Kenma to respond and kiss back, moving closer and shifting their bodies around until he was sitting in Daichi’s lap, his hands tangled in soft brown locks while bigger hands were settled around his waist. Kissing him was nice. There was something sensual about it—they were making out what did they expect?—but it wasn’t sexual nor did it carry the undertones of leading to something more. Even when Daichi bit Kenma’s bottom lip and the blond boy gasped hotly against his mouth, fingers tightening their hold, they didn’t feel the need to move past their kissing.

 

A loud and annoying knock sounded at the door, and Ryuu’s voice boomed through, “You fags done in there or do you need more time?” Kenma slid off and let Daichi reach up to open the door. He did it quickly and with enough force that it smacked Ryuu in the face, resulting in the bald boy groaning in anguish. “Assholes,” he moaned when Daichi just laughed at him and Kenma looked away with a smile.

 

* * *

 

Since it wouldn’t be fair for the same person to go twice, they told Kenma to pick someone else to spin the bottle. The blond elected Tsukki—and smiled smugly at the glasses wearing asshole—while ignoring Kuroo and his waggling tongue.

 

“You could have picked me,” Kuroo whined as Tsukki spun the bottle. Kenma just hummed and nudged at his childhood friend when the bottle _clearly_ landed on Kuroo. Shouyo screeched that the bottle was totally rigged, but when Tobio came back with ‘do _you_ wanna be the poor jerk who goes with Tsukki?’ the ginger shut his mouth.

 

“Looks like you got what you wanted.” Kenma smiled happily at his friend, and stuck up his middle finger when Kuroo stuck out his tongue, “Zeek!” he called as the two disappeared around the corner to reach the closet.

_ _ _

“Can you see without your glasses?”

 

“I can barely see shit with them on it’s dark in here, what do you _think_ , asshat?”

 

“It was just a question, what the fuck.” A beat of silence, “Are we gonna make out?”

 

“No.”

 

A nod, though the other couldn’t see it, “Stuck on Tadashi still aren’t you?” he heard a growl and grinned, “Oh? Testy subject?”

 

“Not. Really.”

 

“Oh no, I’ve upset Tsukki.” Kuroo crooned and heard Tsukki shift to get into his face, “What are you going to do about it? Prove me wrong and kiss me?”

 

“Are you that much of a queer?” he could taste the blond’s breath; feel the puffs of air from his words.

 

“No, but games are fun. And Kenma got some action, I want some too.” He grinned when Tsukki hesitated for just a second, allowing Kuroo to lean forward and brush their lips together, “Come on, kid. We got like five minutes. Just have some fun.”

 

They were so into making out—and heavy petting and grinding—that Kenma opened the door and declared with his usual deadpan voice that it had been ten minutes and if they were going to continue their gay escapades, they had to do it in one of the rooms upstairs.

 

Though Tsukki was fine with clamoring off Kuroo and trying to look like nothing happened, Kuroo stood up and pecked Kenma’s cheek—ignoring the fake blond’s protests of how gay that was—and dragged his favorite glasses asshole up the stairs. No one saw the two of them for an hour.

 

* * *

 

Tobio got to spin next, his face pale as he surveyed the faces around him. When Suga was the one it landed on, a bit of color returned to his face, and he followed the older teen into the closet. Suga was a good kisser, but they mostly talked under their breaths and laughed quietly and traded little pecks here and there. It could have been better—more kissing that is—but Tobio had accidently blurted that it felt wrong since Suga was the ‘Mother’ of the group. The ashen haired boy had chuckled and pecked at Tobio’s lips some more before shaking his head and commenting on how he now felt like he was kissing his child.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was common knowledge that everyone placed bets on who slapped whose ass more at college that week. They had done it since their first year of college, and gradually the bets went from money to random odd things, sometimes sexual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im tired and actually this is the last bit i have prewritten for this au. (prewritten you ask why was it prewritten) (well b/c i had zero intentions of putting this on here but i fucking lose everything i write b/c im lazy so this is a good enough place to dump all my random shit. funnily enough, i have another au that i slowly work on too. flatemate au #hella)
> 
> blah blah find me at kozumekuroo and blah blah im ALWAYS ACCEPTING HEADCANONS JFC gimme some sugar babe

**#if you dont think kenma is a pervert you are wRONG #kuroo/daichi rivalry #help me jesus #ass slapping #actual slur warning**  

 

“What’s the score?” Kenma flopped onto Shouyo’s lap, kissing him in the middle of the circle, and laughing when Ryuu booed at them, calling them fucking queers. Like he was one to talk, sucking Asahi’s dick last time was something the bald boy was never going to be able to live down. “Kuroo told me he was winning when he left for class, but Daichi might have caught up.”

 

“Don’t know. They aren’t here yet. Maybe their being queers and making out behind the school building or something,” Shouyo laughed and flopped on his back, taking Kenma with him, “I bet you that if Daichi is winning you have to suck my dick.”

 

“If Kuroo is winning you have to make out with him and I get to record it.” Kenma fired back, sending both boys into peals of laughter. They heard Tobio walk in with Tsukki, bickering over _school_ (math none the less, fuck numbers). Suga wander in next, chatting happily to Tadashi, while Noya wandered in pouting, a cackling Asahi—a rare sight—trailing behind him. Kenma raised his eyebrows but said nothing.

 

There was a beat of silence for a moment before a noisy clamoring was heard from the main floor, getting louder as it descended the steps into the basement. It wasn’t long before Kuroo and Daichi were in the room, shoving at each other and kicking the other’s limbs—sometimes their own which just was hilarious.

 

“Guess who’s winning!” Kuroo yowled out, a secretive grin on his face. It was common knowledge that everyone placed bets on who slapped whose ass more at college that week. They had done it since their first year of college, and gradually the bets went from money to random odd things, sometimes sexual.

 

Daichi plopped down next to Suga with a smile. He didn’t have the best poker face, but Kuroo had taught him well for the most part, “What he means is, what were your guys’ bets this week?”

 

“Tsukki would have to do all my English homework until next week if Kuroo wins,” Tobio crowed happily, laughing when said blond hit him, “And if Daichi wins then I have to do his Math.”

 

“Ice cream!” Noya shouted, patting Asahi on the back roughly, “I’m for Daichi as always, while this big zeek is for that trash Kuroo.” He stuck out his at Kuroo, who _lovingly_ flipped him off, a smirk on his face.

 

“I told Tadashi he was going to have to buy me coffee for a week if Daichi wins,” Suga laughed lightly, but there were bags under his eyes that said that regardless Tadashi was going to be buying their Mother coffee. He was in serious need of some rest. “And I would give him a back rub if Kuroo won.”

 

“I have to suck Shou’s dick if you lose, Kuroo,” Kenma stated with his usual calm voice. The entire circle kind of paused to stare at the pair of them, Shouyo grinning widely and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, “But if you win, he has to make out with you. And I can record it for blackmail.”

 

Kuroo stared at Shouyo and laughed, “You fucking hoser.” Kenma just smiled pleasantly and yawned, tucking his face into the crook of Shouyo’s shoulder. Biting at it lightly, “You’re such a fag, Kenma. Why the hell do you want to record us?”

 

It was as close to ‘Kuroo won’ that the group was going to get, and the losers groaned in anguish, while the winners cheered. The loudest was Tobio, who actually fucking hated his English class and didn’t want to deal with it for a week.

 

“You know I would skip a whole day of school for you, Kuroo!” Shouyo laughed lightly and shifted a bit in Kenma’s lap, jabbing his fingers against his friend’s side, “I don’t know if Kenma really wants us too though. He seems to just want to eat me—will you _stop_ , oh my god!”

 

“No, I love you too much.” Kenma deadpanned before shoving his friend off his lap, rolling his eyes with a snort. “If I wanted to eat you, I would bite your dick, so shut the fuck up.”

 

“Low blow man, that’s just grody.”


End file.
